Interviews...

Strong communication skills are vital in every career and at every level of professional development and advancement. To offer a glimpse of this I asked two individuals a few simple questions pertinant to communication and their careers. I wanted to showcase the varierty in communication as well as it's relevance. I interviewed Megan (via emailed questions) who is an office manager for an iron fabrication company. I also interviewed Jason who is a firefighter in Buda, Texas. I asked the following questions:

What is your primary means of communication?
 
Who is your audience?
 
How do you prevent miscommunication?
 
What conflict resolution technique do you usually use?

3/4/13 Conflict

Conflict

Conflict is a part of our everyday lives. It is an element of our personal and professional lives. We can deal with different levels of conflict and all phases of conflict. Regardless of what phase we may be working though, the severity of the situation and whether or not it is personal or professional, communication is the key to a successful resolution. Understanding why conflict occurs, conflict management, the positive and negative effects of conflict, the role of stress and anger, the climate of a conflict situation and the value of forgiveness are all important. The better understanding we have of conflict and the importance of communication, the more effectively and efficiently we will be able to address issues.

 

Conflict occurs whenever there is a difference in opinion, difference in personality or any difference in general between two or more people. Sometime one can experience internal conflict that involves only themselves and their opinions and emotions.  Some conflicts are based solely on differing opinions or two differing views of what is best. In certain cases, conflict is simply a matter of mismatched personalities. It can be less of an issue of opinion and more of an issue of opposing personalities. Two people can have very similar views on a situation but because of the gap in their personality types, they may have difficulty reaching a resolution. Internal conflict is something not touched on very often but is an important example of conflict because the mechanics of an internal conflict and a conflict between two people are the same. Usually, two people are trying to achieve a similar goal but through different routes thus causing a conflict. Internal conflict is no different. When a person is trying to make the best decision possible but is conflicted in what to do or how to handle it, it is no different than a conflict between multiple people.  Communication plays a vital role in all stages of conflict and resolution.  Although a lack of communication is not always the source of conflict it usually is involved in some way. It is important to acknowledge the role of communication in the initial phases of conflict as it will be imperative to a successful resolution later on. 

Conflict management is important because it is the first step in attaining a resolution. A mismanaged conflict can spiral out of control and become almost impossible to regulate. Successful conflict management is initiated before the conflict ever happens. Professional and personal environments that handle conflict within a specific set of parameters typically experience a more successful conflict resolution rate. When conflict management is racing to catch up with turmoil it can lead to a delayed resolution and a more remarkable path of destruction.  For instance, within a marriage it would be naïve to think that there would never be conflict. It is important to be proactive in our conflict management and to prepare for conflict before it has even happened. My husband and I have steps in place to help us navigate conflict both minor and serious. This by no means solves the problem but it helps to us work more efficiently towards a resolution. A similar set of parameters benefit professional environments as well. No matter how big or small of an issue an employee might have, it is important that there be an established protocol with a suggested outline of how the conflict should be addressed.

Conflict generally carries a negative connotation. Although that assumption can be accurate, it is not always the case. Conflict can have both positive and negative effects. The most apparent effects are the negative ones. For example, conflict can cause anger, stress, fear, sadness and hurt. These emotions can range from minor to sever depending on the circumstances. The positive effects of conflict, although in the shadow, can be significant. Conflict can address issues that otherwise may have remained unattended or acknowledged. Ultimately leaving the issues to stew and spiral out of control. Some conflict needs to happen within relationships simply to get to the other side of it. If an issue in lingering over the top of a relationship, both parties may be acting differently in order to avoid it which is unhealthy.  Sometimes conflict happens and is able to showcase that isn’t a serious issue after all. Perhaps something was simply blown out of proportion. The most important positive effect of conflict is that we have the ability to learn from it. With each conflict, a certain amount of experience is gained and in turn becomes applicable to our next conflict. Conflict can have a positive effect as long as we continue to learn and grow from each experience and try to apply those lessons to future situations.

 

Stress and anger are a huge part of conflict. They can play a role in the events leading up to conflict and they absolutely can play a role in the effectiveness of conflict management. Stress and anger, like most emotions, can often blur the objective.  When we are consumed with emotion it is difficult to rationalize and take a different perspective. Our emotions can become all encompassing. The most difficult part of dealing with stress and anger is that we have to put it aside for the objective which is reaching a resolution. If the emotions are too strong or simply running too deep, it may be impossible to reach a resolution.  Stress and anger are reason enough to postpone a proposed conflict resolution because they could sabotage the outcome. Emotions must have either resided or dissipated enough to allow clear and rational thinking so that a resolution can be achieved.   

 The climate in a conflict situation affects every part of the process. The mood we are in at the initial phase of conflict through the mood we are in at the end of the conflict. It can either promote or deter a resolution from occurring. It can cause emotions to run ramped that can lead to harsh and unnecessary words. The climate is imperative to not only the success of conflict resolution but the depth of the hurt caused from the initial conflict. It is important that we make an attempt to set emotions aside and focus on the elements of the conflict.  An appropriate climate can encourage positive affirmations, acknowledgment of errors, faults and things done correctly. An appropriate climate is one that promotes active listening skills and respectful communication between the parties involved.  Although it is possible to achieve some sort of resolution within a negative conflict climate, it will not be accomplished in a timely manner nor will it be emotionally efficient.

Forgiveness is often the last thing on our minds during a conflict. It is vital though that we strive towards forgiveness even if it is undeserving. When we choose to hold on to resentment or hurt feelings for things done in the past only affect ourselves.  Very rarely, if ever do our resentments bother the other party involved. It becomes a burden that we are left carrying ourselves. Forgiveness is not about who you are forgiving but it is about you allowing yourself to forgive and let go of the burden.

Understanding why conflict occurs, conflict management, the positive and negative effects of conflict, the role of stress and anger, the climate of a conflict situation and the value of forgiveness are all important. However, the most important factor is communication. It plays a vital role in all of the areas discussed. Not only in how the conflicts unfold but how the resolution is reached as well.

 

References

Abigail, R. and Dudley, C. (2011). Managing Conflict through Communication: Fourth

            Edition. Retrieved from http://online.vitalsource.com
Conflict Resolution: Global Strategic Dispute Management. Retrieved from

            http://www.conflictresolution.com/conflict_resolution_strategies.html

Importance of Communication. Important Conflict Resolution Strategies. Retrieved from

            http://www.importanceofcommunication.org/conflict-resolution/

Mind Tools: Essential tools for an excellent career. Conflict Resolution. Retrieved from

            http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newLDR_81.htm

Scott, E. (2011).  Stress Management. Conflict resolution skills for healthy relationships.

Retrieved from    http://stress.about.com/od/relationships/a/conflict_res.htm

 

 

SIMPLE mediation

As communicators, our goal is to always do so effectively and efficiently. This is not always the case. Sometimes even with the best of intentions and the strongest conflict resolution skills, a resolution is not always realistic. This is where mediation comes into play. It is a communication tool that we sometimes forget to utilize. Here is a simple diagram outlining the benefits of mediation.

2/25/13 Mediation and Arbitration

Mediation and Arbitration

             Mediation and arbitration are used to settle different kinds of civil conflicts. Mediation is simply when a third party helps the two disputing parties reach a resolution. Arbitration is an alternative to litigation where a third party makes the final decision which is binding.

            An example of a conflict that could utilize mediation as a tool for resolution would be divorce and/or child visitation agreements. If a couple is going through a divorce, they will typically have some division of property. A mediator could be helpful in identifying the items that are most important to each party. Basically, the bottom line items. For instance, if the wife wants the car and so does the husband, the mediator can facilitate some different options. Maybe the wife keeps the car but only if the husband is required to pay less alimony. Whatever the scenario might be, the mediator to work for both parties involved and in most cases the opposing partied don’t have to be in the same room. That alone can eliminate resolution deterrents.  Another example is in a child visitation issue. Sometimes, because of the high emotions that run throughout the course of a divorce, reaching a visitation arrangement could be difficult. In this instance, a mediator could take the suggested schedules from each parent and come up with an alternative schedule that is more conducive to the expectations of each parent. Again, a mediator could facilitate the bottom line of each parent and work from there. If the father said he wanted every Friday night because of football and the mother wanted every Sunday because of church, the mediator could come up with a customized visitation schedule for that family.       

 

There are many benefits to using mediation. The primary reason people choose mediation is because they are able to control the outcome. The parties involved do not have to agree on anything they do not want to. Another benefit is that the mediator works as an unbiased party who is able to rationalize situations and offer a fresh and outside perspective. From a financial perspective, the benefit of utilizing mediation is that it is substantially less expensive than court costs, legal fees and the price of a lawyer.

            Arbitration is typically used in lieu of litigation. Examples of conflict in which arbitration would be effective are lawsuits, corporate mishaps or even some civil disputes. When two parties present their case in arbitration, they are giving up total control over the outcome. Regardless of their opinions or feelings, the resolution reached in arbitration in final and legally binding. However, the only example of arbitration I am familiar with is from the move and true story of Erin Brokovich.  In that movie, they took PG&E to arbitration to determine whether or not the case was even worth taking to trial. The judge in that case dismissed all of the opposition from PG&E and allowed the case to go to trial. I know this particular situation might be a stretch from what we are discussing but it is my only frame of reference.

            The American Arbitration Association provides expert mediators and arbitrations. Their website describes them as thorough and thoughtful in their training, that they are unbiased and professional. They also offer directional advice on which path, mediation or arbitration, might be best suited for your situation. They offer a wide range of variety in expertise as well as numerous resources.

 

References

 

American Arbitration Association. Retrieved from

            http://www.adr.org/aaa/faces/home

 Cahn, D. and Abigail, R. (2011). Managing Conflict through Communication. Retrieved from

                http://online.vitalsource.com/#/books/9780558711184/pages/15688612

 FINRA.  Arbitration and Mediation. Retrieved from

                http://www.finra.org/ArbitrationAndMediation/index.htm

 

2/5/2013 Phases of Conflict Resolution

Phases of Conflict Resolution

         Conflict is an unavoidable part of life. It is something that with maturity and experience becomes easier to handle. A key component in dealing with conflict resolution in a successful manner is listening. It is vital that both parties make an honest attempt to listen openly as it is the only way to ensure an authentic resolution. Listening was the key element in my personal conflict.

            This conflict was between another coach and me. It was of a serious nature in that we (the board of directors) believed that his behavior could lead to sexual harassment. In order to derail him from the path we believed him to inadvertently be on, we decided that I would confront him and attempt to resolve the situation.  “The prelude to conflict consists of the variables that make conflict possible between those involved” (Abigail & Cahn, 2011.) The four variables involved in my personal conflict were a fellow coach and I (the participants). Our relationship was professional. The other interested parties in our conflict were board members. The physical environment was our training facility and the social environment was one in which we each had numerous professional and personal relationships with other parties involved.  The triggering event or conflict stimulus was one specific situation in which his behavior was inappropriate and unprofessional. This particular even happened after a series of smaller yet similar situations. The initiation phase was when I confronted him about his behavior in a professional manner. The differentiation phase took place over a course of only a few minutes. In this phase he repeatedly attempted to justify and excuses his behavior. The resolution phase finally occurred once I was able to convince him that this was not a personal attack and that I was in fact trying to assist him. At this point he was open to listening to me. He then understood how quickly this situation could escalate and spiral out of control. It was also helpful to make him understand that as a fellow coach I know what great things he is capable of and this was not part of our vision for him.

Fortunately I was able to reach a resolution quickly. We were able to prevent a potentially disastrous situation that would not only ruin this young man’s life but would permanently scar the reputation of our establishment. Listening was the most important factor to our resolution and it was present in all five phases.

 

                       

References

Abigail, R. and Dudley, C. (2011). Managing Conflict through Communication: Fourth

            Edition. Retrieved from http://online.vitalsource.com

 

9/3/2013 Email Etiquette

Email Etiquette

            The article offers advice on maintaining professionalism within the medium of email communications. The seven tips for success were mind your manners, watch your tone, be concise, be professional, use correct spelling and grammar, ask before sending an attachment and wait to fill out the “To” line. All of these suggestions can be applied to email communication and they can all be helpful.

            While I believe that most of these helpful hints should be considered common sense, I think we often take that sort of thing for granted. Details that may seem to be common sense to us aren’t always common sense to others. It is important that there are seemingly no gaps in something as important as common sense when dealing with our superiors and our professional colleagues. Every aspect of these suggestions is applicable and should not be discounted as just common sense.

            All of the tips listed were warranted and important. They were simple, clear and can easily be followed by anyone. I did not disagree with any of the suggestions.

            While I currently feel confident in my email communication skills there are some suggestions that I will be applying immediately.  I am very conscious of my grammar, spelling, tone, manners, professionalism and being concise. The two suggestions that I will start applying are the tips about asking before sending attachments and waiting to fill in the “To” line. I have never thought about attachments not being opened. However I have heard that emails with attachments can sometime be sent directly to the junk mail inbox. Asking the recipient if it is ok to send an attachment not only allows you the peace of mind for having asked but it can also alert the recipient to the possibility of the email being in a different inbox. The other tip that I found especially applicable to my email communication is waiting to fill out the “To” line. I have in fact accidentally sent an email before proofreading it. Fortunately the content was accurate but my spelling, grammar and tone had not been checked. Luckily I immediately followed up with the correct email and a light hearted request to disregard the first unedited copy. My colleague had no issue with the incident.

            All seven of the helpful tips can be used in email communication. This article serves as a great checkpoint for the things we are doing well and the things we can possibly be doing better.  It is important that we are always open to continually improving our communication skills no matter what the medium may be.

 

References

 

McKay, D. (2013). Tips for Writing Professional Email. Retrieved from

            http://careerplanning.about.com/od/communication/a/email_tips.htm

5/19/2013 My Study of Communication

My Study of Communication

My motivation for studying communications is simple. I enjoy it. It is a subject that I find interesting at every layer. I believe that understanding communication allows me the opportunity to avoid conflict in my personal life. In circumstance where conflict cannot be avoided, communication allows me to address the conflict in a more efficient and effective manner. Given the definitions of communications that I could choose from, I believe that definition number three best suits my personal perspective of communications. “Communication…is and effort after meaning, a creative act initiated by man in which he seeks to discriminate and organize cues so as to orient himself in his environment and satisfy his changing needs.”  I think the key part of this definition that I agree with the most is “…to orient himself in his environment and satisfy his changing needs.” As we evolve and our situations change we have to be able to communicate our needs and wants so that they are understood by those involved in our current circumstance. I think that definition number three best sums that up.

 

References

Trenholm, S. (2011). Thinking Through Communication: An Introduction to the Study of Human Communication. Retrieved from: