Conflict
Conflict
is a part of our everyday lives. It is an element of our personal and
professional lives. We can deal with different levels of conflict and all
phases of conflict. Regardless of what phase we may be working though, the
severity of the situation and whether or not it is personal or professional,
communication is the key to a successful resolution. Understanding why conflict
occurs, conflict management, the positive and negative effects of conflict, the
role of stress and anger, the climate of a conflict situation and the value of
forgiveness are all important. The better understanding we have of conflict and
the importance of communication, the more effectively and efficiently we will
be able to address issues.
Conflict
occurs whenever there is a difference in opinion, difference in personality or
any difference in general between two or more people. Sometime one can
experience internal conflict that involves only themselves and their opinions
and emotions. Some conflicts are based
solely on differing opinions or two differing views of what is best. In certain
cases, conflict is simply a matter of mismatched personalities. It can be less
of an issue of opinion and more of an issue of opposing personalities. Two
people can have very similar views on a situation but because of the gap in
their personality types, they may have difficulty reaching a resolution.
Internal conflict is something not touched on very often but is an important
example of conflict because the mechanics of an internal conflict and a
conflict between two people are the same. Usually, two people are trying to
achieve a similar goal but through different routes thus causing a conflict.
Internal conflict is no different. When a person is trying to make the best
decision possible but is conflicted in what to do or how to handle it, it is no
different than a conflict between multiple people. Communication plays a vital role in all stages
of conflict and resolution. Although a
lack of communication is not always the source of conflict it usually is
involved in some way. It is important to acknowledge the role of communication
in the initial phases of conflict as it will be imperative to a successful
resolution later on.
Conflict
management is important because it is the first step in attaining a resolution.
A mismanaged conflict can spiral out of control and become almost impossible to
regulate. Successful conflict management is initiated before the conflict ever
happens. Professional and personal environments that handle conflict within a
specific set of parameters typically experience a more successful conflict
resolution rate. When conflict management is racing to catch up with turmoil it
can lead to a delayed resolution and a more remarkable path of
destruction. For instance, within a
marriage it would be naïve to think that there would never be conflict. It is
important to be proactive in our conflict management and to prepare for
conflict before it has even happened. My husband and I have steps in place to
help us navigate conflict both minor and serious. This by no means solves the
problem but it helps to us work more efficiently towards a resolution. A
similar set of parameters benefit professional environments as well. No matter
how big or small of an issue an employee might have, it is important that there
be an established protocol with a suggested outline of how the conflict should
be addressed.
Conflict
generally carries a negative connotation. Although that assumption can be
accurate, it is not always the case. Conflict can have both positive and
negative effects. The most apparent effects are the negative ones. For example,
conflict can cause anger, stress, fear, sadness and hurt. These emotions can
range from minor to sever depending on the circumstances. The
positive effects of conflict, although in the shadow, can be significant.
Conflict can address issues that otherwise may have remained unattended or
acknowledged. Ultimately leaving the issues to stew and spiral out of control.
Some conflict needs to happen within relationships simply to get to the other
side of it. If an issue in lingering over the top of a relationship, both
parties may be acting differently in order to avoid it which is unhealthy. Sometimes conflict happens and is able to
showcase that isn’t a serious issue after all. Perhaps something was simply
blown out of proportion. The most important positive effect of conflict is that
we have the ability to learn from it. With each conflict, a certain amount of
experience is gained and in turn becomes applicable to our next conflict.
Conflict can have a positive effect as long as we continue to learn and grow
from each experience and try to apply those lessons to future situations.
Stress
and anger are a huge part of conflict. They can play a role in the events
leading up to conflict and they absolutely can play a role in the effectiveness
of conflict management. Stress and anger, like most emotions, can often blur
the objective. When we are consumed with
emotion it is difficult to rationalize and take a different perspective. Our
emotions can become all encompassing. The most difficult part of dealing with
stress and anger is that we have to put it aside for the objective which is
reaching a resolution. If the emotions are too strong or simply running too
deep, it may be impossible to reach a resolution. Stress and anger are reason enough to
postpone a proposed conflict resolution because they could sabotage the
outcome. Emotions must have either resided or dissipated enough to allow clear
and rational thinking so that a resolution can be achieved.
The
climate in a conflict situation affects every part of the process. The mood we
are in at the initial phase of conflict through the mood we are in at the end
of the conflict. It can either promote or deter a resolution from occurring. It
can cause emotions to run ramped that can lead to harsh and unnecessary words.
The climate is imperative to not only the success of conflict resolution but
the depth of the hurt caused from the initial conflict. It is important that we
make an attempt to set emotions aside and focus on the elements of the
conflict. An appropriate climate can
encourage positive affirmations, acknowledgment of errors, faults and things
done correctly. An appropriate climate is one that promotes active listening
skills and respectful communication between the parties involved. Although it is possible to achieve some sort
of resolution within a negative conflict climate, it will not be accomplished
in a timely manner nor will it be emotionally efficient.
Forgiveness
is often the last thing on our minds during a conflict. It is vital though that
we strive towards forgiveness even if it is undeserving. When we choose to hold
on to resentment or hurt feelings for things done in the past only affect
ourselves. Very rarely, if ever do our
resentments bother the other party involved. It becomes a burden that we are
left carrying ourselves. Forgiveness is not about who you are forgiving but it
is about you allowing yourself to forgive and let go of the burden.
Understanding
why conflict occurs, conflict management, the positive and negative effects of
conflict, the role of stress and anger, the climate of a conflict situation and
the value of forgiveness are all important. However, the most important factor
is communication. It plays a vital role in all of
the areas discussed. Not only in how the conflicts unfold but how the
resolution is reached as well.
References
Abigail, R. and Dudley, C. (2011).
Managing Conflict through Communication: Fourth
Edition.
Retrieved from http://online.vitalsource.comConflict Resolution: Global Strategic Dispute Management. Retrieved from
Importance of
Communication. Important Conflict Resolution Strategies. Retrieved from
Mind Tools:
Essential tools for an excellent career. Conflict Resolution. Retrieved from
Scott, E.
(2011). Stress Management. Conflict
resolution skills for healthy relationships.
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